Getting the forms signed - 15th June

I was a bit - well a lot - worried as to whether the doctor would sign my forms. I also needed to get them signed so I could start the plan on Tuesday 19th.

I have been to the doctors twice about my weight in the last two years. I asked to be referred to the dietitican but the GP said I should just see the practice nurse for diet advice. I didn't think she could tell me anything I didn't already know, so I just didn't go. The second time I asked for Reductil but the doctor refused to prescribe them for me saying 'my problem was psychological' so the reductil would make me feel full-up, but I was perfectly capable of over-eating when I wasn't hungry so she didn't feel they would help and instead she would refer me to see their in-house counsellor.

I managed to get an appointment to see a doctor yesterday so went along with my forms. I was sat on the bus having imaginary arguments as to why they should sign my form. I truly believed they wouldn't sign it, dismissing Lighter Life as a fad diet.

This is how my consultation went:

Me: A few months ago I came to see Dr R and asked her to prescribe some reductil for me, as I had piled on the weight and was struggling to lose it, however she refused saying it was a psychological problem and she would refer me for counselling however nothing appeared to come of that as I never received an appointment. She did say the in-house counselling might not be able tio help me though.

Doc: (he looks on computer and reads me out a letter from the counsellor saying that my problems were not in my remit and I should try a slimming club such as Weight Watchers!)!!!!!

Me: Anyway, have you heard of the Lighter Life diet?

Doc: I've heard the name but don't know anything about it.

Me: Well, it's quite a new plan, it's a very low calorie meal replacement diet but you also have a two hour group counselling session every week.

Doc: Come on, tell me more.

Me: Okay, it's a Very Low Calorie Diet so all your meals are replaced by shakes, soups and bars of which you have four items per day. All the items give you all the minerals and vitamins that your body needs to stay healthy. You also have to drink four litres of water per day and they promise if you follow the diet you will lose three stones in three months. You can only go on it if you have three or more stones to lose. However the winning point for me is the counselling, you get cognitive behaviour therapy and transactional analysis, which helps you to identify why you overeat and develop coping strategies, which is really what I need. It costs an arm and a leg £66 per week though but I am prepared to pay it.

Doc: So does that include your food packs and the counselling?

Me: Yes, the counselling is two hours every week.

Doc: Well I have to admit it sounds really good. As the CBT counselling isn't available on the NHS, you'd be looking at probably paying that privately for a two hour session once a week so it's actually value for money! So what do you need me to do?

Me: Well, you have to sign a form saying I am fit enough to do it, and I need my blood pressure checking and my pulse rate recording.

Doc: Yeah, no problem (takes my blood pressure and my pulse, fills in the form and signs it).

Me: Oh thank you so much!

Doc: No problems, let me know how you get on because I will be interested. Can I keep this booklet to have a look through? I've had a lady who is ten stone overweight ask me to refer her for gastric bypass surgery recently, I might recommend this to her in the meantime!

So there you go - how positive a consultation was that? I rang my counsellor to tell her I had the form signed and she said "right, bring it along to group on Tuesday" - so there you go, I am on it. I came out of the surgery on cloud nine because my GP was so positive. I feel there is light at the end of the tunnel after all. I'm looking forward to starting the counselling and addressing my poor relationship with food soon.

the first steps

I went to an introductory session on Thursday (14th June). I got there ten minutes early so had to fill a form in with my details, medical history, and then she weighed me. Now, I needed the loo, and had my boots on (cos I had on odd and holey socks so I was embarrassed about taking the boots off) but even so I wasn't prepared for how much her scales weighed me at - 13st 13lbs! I nearly died. My BMI is 33.9 and if I could have started the programme there and then I blooming well would have done.

Three other women came in the meantime. I didn't catch their names but one of them was a mother of six, another was a doctor's receptionist, and the other was an elderly lady. Elderly lady asked me how this diet worked, and by the sounds of things she had no idea about it, and hadn't realised that it cost so much so I don't know whether she will sign up or not. Mum of six definitely wanted to do it, but I found her really irritating, she was all "ME! ME! ME!" and I can imagine the bloody counselling sessions will be all about her. Doctor's receptionist was very large but very quiet so I don't know whether she will go or not.

When I was waiting for the other women to be weighed, I started flicking through some photo albums and MY GOD - was there some transformations in there?! Including my very own H from work. I hadn't realised just how big she was as she used to hide it, and now she's a really slinky foxy thing. Hopefully I will make it into that photo album in the not so distant future.

We watched a DVD which was the founder of the programme talking about the psychology and the science behind it, interspersed with happy customers all who had lost vast amounts of weight and kept it off, all of which they attribute to the counselling. One of them sounded like she could have been me, so I found that inspiring. When that was finished she answered a few questions and then gave us a form to get signed by GP or Practice Nurse.

The decision to start Lighter Life.

On Tuesday 12th June I made the decision to start the Lighter Life Plan.

I was interested in starting this plan back in March, when a colleague of mine lost three stone on it. She was highly praising of the plan and told me all about it. What put me off was the cost and the fact it is a meal replacement plan. I said to myself I would give me a year, and if I didn't lose the three stone I wanted to, then I would join up next year.

Fast forward three months and I am about half a stone heavier than I was then, and my eating habits are just as bad as they were.

My dieting career started in November 1997 when, aged 22, I weighed 11st 5lbs at 5'4" with quite an athletic build, and I successfully lost 9lbs in 6 weeks. Ever since then I have yo-yoed between 9st 13lbs (I weighed that for one day in January 2000) and 13st 13lbs (what I weigh now, and the heaviest I have ever been)

Between then and now I have been on a permanant "on a diet, off a diet" diet. The cycle goes like this. I binge eat - then go join Weightwatchers - fall off the wagon and binge eat again - then I start calorie counting from home - then I get bored and binge eat again - then I'll go off and join Slimming World - have a bad week then binge eat again. I think the only reason that I don't weigh ten stones more than I do is because I will go on a diet and lose 7lbs in a month, then when I fall off the wagon, I will go and put 9lbs back on in two months so although I put more weight on than I lose, it goes on quite slowly. However two years ago when I started the job I am in now, I have gained 38lbs in those 24 months.

I'm at the stage now where I want to just eat normally. I need counselling to help me achieve this but you simply cannot get cognitive behaviour therapy on the NHS where I live unless you are bulimic or anorexic. With Lighter Life you get a 2hr Cognitive Behaviour Therapy session in with the plan. Transactional Analysis is also involved. If they can get my eating habits back to normal I will be over the moon - any weight loss will just be an added bonus.

My friend H is also doing this diet. She just scraped onto it as her BMI is 29.5 (lowest it can be is 29) and she only weighed 12st 1lbs and has lost 13lbs in two weeks, so she has spurred me on, and H at work said if I need to talk to her, or need any advice she is there for me.