Getting the forms signed - 15th June

I was a bit - well a lot - worried as to whether the doctor would sign my forms. I also needed to get them signed so I could start the plan on Tuesday 19th.

I have been to the doctors twice about my weight in the last two years. I asked to be referred to the dietitican but the GP said I should just see the practice nurse for diet advice. I didn't think she could tell me anything I didn't already know, so I just didn't go. The second time I asked for Reductil but the doctor refused to prescribe them for me saying 'my problem was psychological' so the reductil would make me feel full-up, but I was perfectly capable of over-eating when I wasn't hungry so she didn't feel they would help and instead she would refer me to see their in-house counsellor.

I managed to get an appointment to see a doctor yesterday so went along with my forms. I was sat on the bus having imaginary arguments as to why they should sign my form. I truly believed they wouldn't sign it, dismissing Lighter Life as a fad diet.

This is how my consultation went:

Me: A few months ago I came to see Dr R and asked her to prescribe some reductil for me, as I had piled on the weight and was struggling to lose it, however she refused saying it was a psychological problem and she would refer me for counselling however nothing appeared to come of that as I never received an appointment. She did say the in-house counselling might not be able tio help me though.

Doc: (he looks on computer and reads me out a letter from the counsellor saying that my problems were not in my remit and I should try a slimming club such as Weight Watchers!)!!!!!

Me: Anyway, have you heard of the Lighter Life diet?

Doc: I've heard the name but don't know anything about it.

Me: Well, it's quite a new plan, it's a very low calorie meal replacement diet but you also have a two hour group counselling session every week.

Doc: Come on, tell me more.

Me: Okay, it's a Very Low Calorie Diet so all your meals are replaced by shakes, soups and bars of which you have four items per day. All the items give you all the minerals and vitamins that your body needs to stay healthy. You also have to drink four litres of water per day and they promise if you follow the diet you will lose three stones in three months. You can only go on it if you have three or more stones to lose. However the winning point for me is the counselling, you get cognitive behaviour therapy and transactional analysis, which helps you to identify why you overeat and develop coping strategies, which is really what I need. It costs an arm and a leg £66 per week though but I am prepared to pay it.

Doc: So does that include your food packs and the counselling?

Me: Yes, the counselling is two hours every week.

Doc: Well I have to admit it sounds really good. As the CBT counselling isn't available on the NHS, you'd be looking at probably paying that privately for a two hour session once a week so it's actually value for money! So what do you need me to do?

Me: Well, you have to sign a form saying I am fit enough to do it, and I need my blood pressure checking and my pulse rate recording.

Doc: Yeah, no problem (takes my blood pressure and my pulse, fills in the form and signs it).

Me: Oh thank you so much!

Doc: No problems, let me know how you get on because I will be interested. Can I keep this booklet to have a look through? I've had a lady who is ten stone overweight ask me to refer her for gastric bypass surgery recently, I might recommend this to her in the meantime!

So there you go - how positive a consultation was that? I rang my counsellor to tell her I had the form signed and she said "right, bring it along to group on Tuesday" - so there you go, I am on it. I came out of the surgery on cloud nine because my GP was so positive. I feel there is light at the end of the tunnel after all. I'm looking forward to starting the counselling and addressing my poor relationship with food soon.

the first steps

I went to an introductory session on Thursday (14th June). I got there ten minutes early so had to fill a form in with my details, medical history, and then she weighed me. Now, I needed the loo, and had my boots on (cos I had on odd and holey socks so I was embarrassed about taking the boots off) but even so I wasn't prepared for how much her scales weighed me at - 13st 13lbs! I nearly died. My BMI is 33.9 and if I could have started the programme there and then I blooming well would have done.

Three other women came in the meantime. I didn't catch their names but one of them was a mother of six, another was a doctor's receptionist, and the other was an elderly lady. Elderly lady asked me how this diet worked, and by the sounds of things she had no idea about it, and hadn't realised that it cost so much so I don't know whether she will sign up or not. Mum of six definitely wanted to do it, but I found her really irritating, she was all "ME! ME! ME!" and I can imagine the bloody counselling sessions will be all about her. Doctor's receptionist was very large but very quiet so I don't know whether she will go or not.

When I was waiting for the other women to be weighed, I started flicking through some photo albums and MY GOD - was there some transformations in there?! Including my very own H from work. I hadn't realised just how big she was as she used to hide it, and now she's a really slinky foxy thing. Hopefully I will make it into that photo album in the not so distant future.

We watched a DVD which was the founder of the programme talking about the psychology and the science behind it, interspersed with happy customers all who had lost vast amounts of weight and kept it off, all of which they attribute to the counselling. One of them sounded like she could have been me, so I found that inspiring. When that was finished she answered a few questions and then gave us a form to get signed by GP or Practice Nurse.

The decision to start Lighter Life.

On Tuesday 12th June I made the decision to start the Lighter Life Plan.

I was interested in starting this plan back in March, when a colleague of mine lost three stone on it. She was highly praising of the plan and told me all about it. What put me off was the cost and the fact it is a meal replacement plan. I said to myself I would give me a year, and if I didn't lose the three stone I wanted to, then I would join up next year.

Fast forward three months and I am about half a stone heavier than I was then, and my eating habits are just as bad as they were.

My dieting career started in November 1997 when, aged 22, I weighed 11st 5lbs at 5'4" with quite an athletic build, and I successfully lost 9lbs in 6 weeks. Ever since then I have yo-yoed between 9st 13lbs (I weighed that for one day in January 2000) and 13st 13lbs (what I weigh now, and the heaviest I have ever been)

Between then and now I have been on a permanant "on a diet, off a diet" diet. The cycle goes like this. I binge eat - then go join Weightwatchers - fall off the wagon and binge eat again - then I start calorie counting from home - then I get bored and binge eat again - then I'll go off and join Slimming World - have a bad week then binge eat again. I think the only reason that I don't weigh ten stones more than I do is because I will go on a diet and lose 7lbs in a month, then when I fall off the wagon, I will go and put 9lbs back on in two months so although I put more weight on than I lose, it goes on quite slowly. However two years ago when I started the job I am in now, I have gained 38lbs in those 24 months.

I'm at the stage now where I want to just eat normally. I need counselling to help me achieve this but you simply cannot get cognitive behaviour therapy on the NHS where I live unless you are bulimic or anorexic. With Lighter Life you get a 2hr Cognitive Behaviour Therapy session in with the plan. Transactional Analysis is also involved. If they can get my eating habits back to normal I will be over the moon - any weight loss will just be an added bonus.

My friend H is also doing this diet. She just scraped onto it as her BMI is 29.5 (lowest it can be is 29) and she only weighed 12st 1lbs and has lost 13lbs in two weeks, so she has spurred me on, and H at work said if I need to talk to her, or need any advice she is there for me.

Oh My God!

Oh Lordy, I've just been spending willy-nilly for the past two months and I checked my bank account for the first time in ages and I am HORRIFIED!!! So I am now on a strict Money Diet as of today!

I don't seem to be able to walk into the supermarket lately without buying a magazine(s), book(s), CD(s) or DVD(s) or just crap in general, or buying an expensive food item without looking at the cheaper option.

Ditto, when I go into town, I cant seem to just go into town to do what I need to do, oh no I have to spend money on myself!

Why? I just get a buzz from shopping and spending money on myself...it really cheers me up. How can I replace the buzz and what with?

So this is not only going to be my yo-yo-diet blog, but my money diet blog too...

By the way, the diet has been almost non-existant as there is no class next week so I have no incentive, and also I have a christening to attend this Sunday with a buffet, so there's no point in dieting? Right??

update

I’m all motivated diet-wise again. I went to Weight Watchers monday night and I knew I would have put weight on, and I wasn’t even going to go to class and use it as a holiday. But then I remembered our star slimmer's (with an 8st weight loss) wise words “I never missed a weigh in and always stay to class when I can”, so thought I would go. Well unsurprisingly I had gained another pound taking it to 3lbs loss in 5 weeks, which is a bit shite.

As it was a bank holiday there was only 11 of us stayed to class. When it came to the talk bit Diane singled me out and said “Yo-Yo, I think you were disappointed weren’t you? What’s happened?”. Resisting the urge to do a Peter Kay and say “I broke my nail and I had a fry-up waaaahhh”, I told her I just wasn’t motivated at all, I couldn’t be bothered counting points and just had eaten rubbish all week and was only impressed that I hadn’t gained more weight. Then rather than praising me for being honest, or saying something encouraging like “Well you’ve come to class despite feeling like that”, the old bag said “Oh well, I can’t do anything for negative people, you have to want to help yourself”!, which is true, but it’s not what I pay a fiver a week for!

So now I’m all fired up to LOSE as much weight as I can. Last week I’d bought one of those “Slim n Save” thingies, where you pay for nine weeks and get a week free, and last night was week two, so I’m going to see if I can lose 10lbs in the next seven weeks.

So in order to help me I have decided to take up serious walking! However the rambling clubs I have found are a bit inconvenient for me with the children being still young so I’m going it alone. I’ve roped in my brother and his girlfriend, but I’ve also bought two books that are aimed at families and some are suitable for prams! I went to Waterstones on Sunday and bought “20 Village Walks in West Yorkshire”; “AA 50 walks in West Yorkshire”; “20 Walks by Ramblers Bradford”, All Terrain Pushchair Walks in West Yorkshire” and “30 pub strolls in West Yorkshire” especially for dh, which is great because they are circular walks that start and end at a pub! I’ve also ordered another one “kiddiwalks” but that hasn’t come yet, but that’s walks in West Yorkshire suitable for prams and children.

I’ve bought myself and DH some walking boots – Bargain, £20 each from Wynsors. Mine are hi-tech and his are Regatta. dh went into work but we’re planning on getting some walking done during the next couple of days. I’m hoping that it will mainly give me something to do. Hopefully we can go and do the kiddiwalks as a family at weekends. If the weather’s not so nice, or Wayne doesn’t fancy it, then hopefully my brother and his girlfriend will be available as although they go out a lot I think they get stuck for stuff to do on weekend days.

so - Tuesday throughout the day I walked for 1hr, 47m, 11sec and a distance of six miles.

Friday 28th April 2006 (day four)

Oh damn! The day started off so well and up until the afternoon I had plenty of points left. Then for some reason in late afternoon I went off the rails and had three bags of crisps and three mint Echo bars. Then DH made dinner (Chicken Korma - Skinless chicken and low fat cook in sauce) and I hadn't planned on having rice with it, but he made rice so that was extra points). I know exactly why I binged, it was because I was bored. And I didn't have the willpower to say no. Oh well, the Echo bars are all gone now and I wont be buying any more!!! I also broke the rules and hardly had anything to drink either, just a couple of glasses of fizzy water

Breakfast: 2 slices milk roll toast with spread = 2 points

Mid-Morning: Banana = 1.5 points. Mr Potato Head Crisps = 1.5 points.

Lunch: Sandwich = 5 points, Mr Potato Head Crisps = 1.5 points.

Afternoon: More Crisps @ 1.5 points; 3 Mint Echo Bars = 7.5 points

Dinner: Chicken Curry and rice (roughly 9.5 points) and 3 x chappatis (5.5 points)

Total = 35.5 points

Thursday 27th April (day 3)

Total Points: 22
Exercise Points: 1.5
Brought Forward: 0.0
Total for day: 23.5

Breakfast: 50g fruit n fibre with milk = 3 points

Mid-Morning: Hot Chocolate from machine = 1 point.

Lunch: Large jacket potato and beans = 6 points (approx)

Mid-Afternoon: Banana = 1.5 points, packet of WW sweets = 0.5 points

Dinner: Ready meal - Chinese Beef in Chilli Sauce = 5 points.

Water: 1 litre

Exercise: 2 miles, approximately 36 minutes.

Total for day = 17 points
Carried forward = 6.5 points.

I'm not really going to carry them forward as I think I may have just compensated for the large meal I had on Wednesday.

Wednesday 26th April

Total Allowance = 22
Brought forward = 3
Exercise points = 0

Breakfast: 30g cereal, 100mls sem-skimmed milk = 3 points

Mid-morning: Hot chocolate from machine = 1 point

Lunch: Seafood cocktail sandwich = 4 points; 1 packet crisps = 1.5 points; 1 apple = 0.5 points

Mid-Afternoon: Hot chocolate from machine = 1 point

Late-Afternoon: 2 satsumas = 0.5 points

Dinner= (allowance of 13.5 remaining) Starter - Prawn cocktail with a baguette, main = carvery inc beef, roast spuds, new spuds, mashed swede, parsnips, cauliflower cheese and broccolli and a diet coke. Probably a darn sight more than 13.5 points so I think we'll just write today off, shall we?

Total for day = 1,987,678 points.

Carried forward = none.

Water = 1 litre

Exercise: Zilch.

We took my mother-in-law and step-father-in-law out for a meal today. I decided I don't eat out often enough to warrant buying the boring stuff on the menu, so I would get what I wanted and then start again tomorrow. Thankfully I was too full for dessert otherwise I would have gone for rhubarb crumble and custard (yum) but I couldn't manage it!!!

Tuesday 25th April

Today's food.

Allowance = 22
Exercise Points = 2.5
Total = 24.5


Breakfast: 2 slices Milk Roll white bread, with spread = 2 points.

Mid-Morning: Banana = 1.5 points mug of hot chocolate from machine = 1 point?

Lunch: Sandwich (2 x slices Hovis Invisible crust best of both bread, 30g seafood cocktail sandwich spread) = 4 points, 1 x packet ready salted Mr Potato Head crisps = 1.5 points.

Dinner: half Roast Vegetable Lattice (9 points) and salad with salad cream (1 point). I know it's rather a lot, but I'm eating up what's left in the fridge.

Snacks: 2 jaffa cakes = 1.5 points

Total: 21.5 points. ..........

Carried Forward = +3 points

Water: 1 litre.

Exercise: 10 minute walk to town centre from training school, 10 minute walk back. 18 minute walk to nursery from home. 18 Minute walk back (roughly 3 miles in 56 minutes)

I've been on a training course today to learn how to use a computer system. It's a pass/fail course, and today was the first test and I got 100%. I found it really easy, so I assume every one else did too, but saying that one of my colleagues who has been on it previously told me you need to get 80% overall score to pass, and she'd got 85%, so unless the next test on Thursday is really difficult, I think I have done really well!

I've been driving 16 miles to the course location and it took me 90 minutes to get home today because of the traffic! Yesterday left at 3:35pm and was home for 4:30pm. Today left at 2:30pm and didn't get home until 4:00pm. I'd rather stay later and spend less time in the car! Serves me right for being such a swot. My legs are killing me from spending so much time with my foot on the clutch.

The start

(Well, it's the start of my blog, not the start of my diet).

I went to Weight Watchers last night for my weigh in. I had weighed 13st 5lbs when I started there on 27th March and up unto last night had lost 5lbs in three weeks. However I am ashamed to admit that I've not counted a single point since I started going, and that my 5lbs loss is more luck than management. Anyway I put a pound on last night, which made me really angry with myself, so I'm motivated once more!

I've been a yo-yo-dieter since November 1998 when I started my first diet at 11st 5lbs. Well, 7.5 years later and 2st heavier speaks for itself doesn't it? I've tried calorie counting, weight watchers, Paul McKenna, hypnotism, Slimming World - all sensible eating plans, not faddy ones and fail every time.

My promise to myself from now on is to go to Weight Watchers even if I am not following the diet, just to have a bit of accountability.

13st 5lbs is the heaviest I have ever been and 9st 13lbs is the lightest (Jan 2000). The longest I have ever been on a losing diet (ie losing and not gaining) is 9 weeks, and the most I have ever lost before losing the plot, getting bored and piling it back on again, is 13.5lbs. I've never actually lost an entire stone by myself in one stretch before.

So, please follow me on my weight loss journey....